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How To Cook A Turkey On Your Car Engine

on Tue, 11/25/2014 - 20:51

A Very Special Tracer Products Thanksgiving



1 Turkey breast, approximately 5 lbs.
3 Large diced potatoes
3 Large diced carrots
2 Tbs. Flour
1 Cup butter
¾ Cup of heavy cream
1 Bottle of white wine
Aluminum tray with cover

Prep Time: 2.5 Hours
Cook Time: 4 Hours

Before trying this at home, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I have a long distance drive in the near future in which my car’s engine will be continuously running for at least FOUR hours?        Ÿ 
  • Do I own a HUNK OF JUNK or am I driving a RENTAL CAR with insurance which will allow my mind to remain at ease if a bit of potato gets lodged in my radiator or wine spills all over the battery?
  •  Do I keep a FIRE EXTINGUISHER in my trunk?

NOTE: ONLY if you’ve answered YES to all of the above should you proceed to STEP 1!

1. Thinly slice the turkey breast and place in a bowl with the diced carrots and potatoes. Pour wine into bowl, cover bowl, and let contents marinate for two hours in a refrigerator.

2. Drain liquid from bowl, and place vegetables in heavily buttered aluminum tray.

3. Lightly coat turkey slices in flour and place in the aluminum tray with vegetables. Season with salt and pepper as desired.

4. Pour cream into the tray, evenly coating the turkey and vegetables and secure cover to tray.

5. Place tray on car engine, and get on the road. Two hours into your trip, flip the turkey and vegetables to ensure they are fully cooked. After four hours, take the turkey off the engine and enjoy!

To prevent setting your car on fire and for more on the road recipes, consult Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine!



Did you know the highest fine for speeding ever given was $1,000,000?

on Tue, 11/18/2014 - 15:27