The world has come to a halt as zombies become the dominant race. Suddenly it’s every man and woman for themselves and survival by any means necessary is the lone mission. You hop into your car with the remainder of your (assumingly) uninfected family and hit the road leaving all of your worldly possessions behind. Is your vehicle prepared?
Zombie Apocalypse Vehicle Maintenance Check List
1. Kitty Litter
Since the roads are plagued with abandoned vehicles and the infected sniffing out their prey, every path leading out of the city is blocked. You may need to do some off-roading if you’re going to make it to that government appointed safe house the radio’s emergency recorded response system keeps raving about. When your car gets stuck in the mud, snow, or in decomposing zombie brains you’ll need a quick fix to get moving again before the undead discover you in such a vulnerable position. Some kitty litter or dry sand under the trapped tire will create the traction you need to get going.
2. Windshield Wiper Fluid
Imagine you’ve just struck a zombie with your vehicle and its innards are splattered across your windshield, enabling you to see where you’re driving. Another group of zombies, attracted to the commotion, are now rapidly approaching. Are you really going to stick your head out the window so you can see the road? They don’t talk about this on The Walking Dead, but when you get zombie guts all over your windshield, wiper fluid will save your life.
3. Spare Tire
Let’s face it. The highways aren’t being maintained anymore. Even if you aren’t using your vehicle as a weapon to flatten zombies left and right, a spare tire will come in handy. This nifty tool, The Marksman™ II, can detect tire leaks keeping you one step ahead of both zombies and flat tires.
4. Air Conditioning
An overheated mind causes agitation, which in turn causes poor decision making. In this new world, when you make poor decisions, you think taking on the responsibility as the group’s zombie bait is a good idea. This Cool Seal™ product will keep your A/C running so you can keep cool and steer clear of anyone trying to use you as a decoy.
5. Duct Tape
Duct tape is the ultimate quick fix. Tailpipe dragging? Tape it. A zombie took out your side view mirror? Tape it. Trunk won’t close because it’s stuffed with all the items on this checklist? Tape it.